Myspace Band add-me assault

If you're one of the many (humans) that have a myspace then, you know very well that if you don't block band friend requests you will be barraged daily. I, being someone that is not a complete douche and still loves music created and promoted by diligent young ones, decided to keep myself open to these friend requests. Instead of just fishing through them and keeping the keepers and kicking the shitters, I've decided to briefly review these bands. Sweet right? Nice little plug. Butt plug.

1. Counting Planes Oxnard, California "Pop punk, Hardcore, Trip-hop"
"Gary Wayne's Starship Enterprise" I used to like this type of music. For some God awful reason this makes Counting Planes terribly mediocre music relatively nostalgic. There are a few okay guitar riffs and the drums aren't horrible but, I'm already over this song.
"Dick Roshendo" Cute little guitar solo. Boring.
"Drinkability" I don't know why but, I love gang vocals. And then...kaput!
That's actually all that I could handle. I appreciate the quality of the recordings but as for musical creativity and lyrical talent are concerned...you fellas are up shit creek. I guess that will teach you to go mass adding people won't it? Remember, there's no such thing as 'bad publicity'. Good luck. Oh and another cutesy guitar solo at the end of "drinkability". Unimpressive, boring, mass molded music.
www.myspace.com/countingplanes

2. Darkest of Days Spartanburg, SC "Rock, Metal, Alternative"
Judging by the profile default picture, I'm going to hate this.
"Fuck You" Clever title. Too much cheap distortion pedal output. Vocals sound like an ugly mix between Lemmy and Special Ed. This is absolutely the most obnoxious shit... omg you actually recorded that guitar solo? "You got your mind all tied and bound." Well. Next band please.
http://www.myspace.com/darkestofdaysofficial
Wait, darkestofdaysofficial? As if there are unofficial pages on myspace? As if there ever will be? Oh my.

3. Hollows Spartanburg, SC "Experimental, Psychadelic, Metal"
Just an overall view here but, I absolutely love it. NM the conflict of interest or mysterious connections lol. Sleepy time music.
http://www.myspace.com/dirgesc

4. Joe Grizzley Durham, North Carolina "Pop Punk, Hardcore"
"Joe Bros Vs. the Failing Economy" First of all, excellent song title. Despite these type of tunes having been done before...first impression, not bad. Well, that is, until the chorus came along and destroyed it for me. Let's try another track because there's a fucking break down.
"Save Tonight" I love Eagle Eye Cherry. Well, I love this song. I could do without the metalcore growl. Other than that, so far so good. Singer of second verse, stop singing. Screaming, cut that shit out. Quick crash or cheap china, also stop. Come tomorrow, I'll be wishing I hadn't listened to this cover because it will forever fuck up this song for me. Alright, decent gang vocals...a bit of a redeemer. Holding out, "Saaaaaaaaaaaaaavve toooniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!!!" not a good decision. I like the drums a great deal. Not too bad.
http://www.myspace.com/joegrizzleync

5. Rotten Bark Wlodawa, Lubelskie Poland "Pop Punk, Rock, Alternative"
I must give off that 'I'm totally into pop punk and pop punk only vibe', huh? Well although I can't pronounce the name of your hometown, at least this is truly what I consider pop punk to be. Thank you for appropriately labeling yourself. I'm always one to appreciate 3 part harmonies. However, this is really goofy music and Sum 41 did it a decade ago. Blink 182 did it much better before that and I'm sure a million others before them. Thank you for making mediocre music.
http://www.myspace.com/rottenbark

6. Ixtlan. Noisetrack Rio Grande Do Sul, Brazil "Melodramatic Popular Song, Indie, Black Metal"
I'm afraid to even listen to this judging by the name of the band, their place of origin and the genres that they have placed themselves in. What the fuck is melodramatic popular song anyway? That shits not on my XM stations, I don't think.
"The Waiting Song" Sad and depressing guitar riff that would make the joker cry. Tremolo effect and here comes the drums. Holy shit, I kind of like this. Spacey sounds dancing around a nice driving rhythm and distantish vocals about this guy and how he won't be around. Abrupt ending. Take me on to song #2 I'm intrigued.
"Ao Longo Da Estrada Pt.2" I'm not sure if multi-part songs are like ...to be continued sitcoms or sagas and such but I feel like I should have listened to Pt.1 first. Should I have? Very short song, uninteresting. Thanks anyway.
"Terra Baixa" Judging from the first 15 seconds of the song, I'll be hitting the old dusty trail now.
http://www.myspace.com/ixtlannoisetrack

7. Nightlights Orlando, Florida "Punk, Rock, House"
"Ghost Town" This sounds like the years where I would skateboard around town. I love it. Short and sweet like "punk" should be.
"Buzz Your Girlfriend...Woof!" As for the title, I happen to love Home Alone. I don't really feel like I have very much to say. This type of music has definitely been played and played out long ago but, I can't quite let go. This is fantastic. Gang vocals, "I have no where, I have no where, no where else to turn!" Awesome, next song.
"Ghost Town (Acoustic)" I really wish you hadn't done this. It's definitely a good song but, please no acoustic damn you!!!!
http://www.myspace.com/nightlightsfl

Wow! That's all of them. I know these aren't fancy or in depth reviews by any means but, it's 3:43 am and honestly, I could give a shit less. Good night 2009.
-DHAGZ