Introduction

Music, in it's present state, is grim overall. That being said, it is a difficult task trying to write an appropriate intro and a review in one swift swoop. Especially, if one were attempting to not appear conceited and dreadfully sardonic. It's probably no coincidence that those words are applicable to this endeavor that, if not terribly contrived, is biased and highly unfair. My name is Daniel and I am a music snob. Let's begin.

The honor of first post reviews goes to the malevolent entity that is responsible for the hideous pulses that are Owl City. Upon researching this band after hearing about them on that dick of a channel MTVU, I did read the www.somethingawful.com review. I am aware that, much like the music of Owl City, which is an obvious and embarrassing rip-off of the Postal Service, I am inches away from copy and pasting from someone else as well. But, as a concerned citizen of the world that just so happens to listen to music and frequently critique said music, also, I owe it to the 4 people that I tell about this blog to actively search out the jewels and ghouls of modern music. Owl City is by far the easiest and most important "band" or "artist" or, "lack thereof" to review.

The perpetrator of the atrocity that is Owl City is a youthful Christian fellow by the name of Adam Young. While tugging on Ben's Gibbard he seems to have found a comfy niche in the forgetful ears of mentally handicapped hipsters and small children with no direction or decent parents. Somehow, the musically blasphemous anthem for soulless teens is the single 'Fireflies' which, out of all of this bag's "songs", sounds the most (identical) like the Postal Service. In interviews he does in fact cite Death Cab for Cutie as an influence while being all cutesy and joking about how he's "never heard of the Postal Service". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Now, I'm well aware, as a musician, that people typically have terrible tastes in tunes. Furthermore, I recognize that most musicians are either neurotic, stupid, unoriginal or all of the above. I read somewhere in a review of Owl City that some elite group of people are really excited that pop electronica is coming back. I find it difficult to believe that anyone is excited about the return of electronic music and I find it even more difficult to believe that anyone listens and are excited about this asshole who I have no titled 'Bowel Shitty'.
In this picture;



you can see this half-hidden smirk attacking his face and possibly ratting out his true inner feelings. I think one of two things are happening here;
A. He's so impressed with his own music that he just can't contain himself and his mere inches from having a coronary or,
B. He realizes that he has deceived a great deal of extremely dumb people and, like Bernie Madoff, knows he's going to make far more money off of this bull shit than should be legal. Unlike Bernie Madoff, this is legal. Sadly.

And finally, this is a video for 'Fireflies'. The "official video" has, by request, had embedding disabled because the butt plug doesn't want people like me posting his stupid faggot video and assault vigorously. Please have a friend or family member hide shoe laces, ropes, guns, knives and other sharp and dangerous objects from your direct reach before viewing.